SCAN THE MAN

IT'S HOLIDAY TIME!  I'M GETTING ON A PLANE!
GUESS WHAT I GET TO CHOOSE?

RADIATION!
OR HUMILIATION!

I'm pretty frikkin glad I don't have a poop bag no more.

STUPID, HURTFUL, LAME

THINGS PEOPLE SAY:

STUPID: my odds of being hit by a bus are 1 in 2 million.
my odds of dying of cancer are 1 in 2.

HURTFUL: there is no "false hope."  there is only hope.

LAME: it's my book.

NO REFILLS!

I DON'T NEED THEM

....  do I?  

RIDIN' THE WAVE

FEELIN' GOOD..

YOU?

PLEASE ALLOW 6-8 WEEKS

FOR DELIVERY

WHAT, ME WORRY?

WHACK-A-MOLE

 HURRY, HURRY, STEP RIGHT UP!

TAKE A CRACK AT THE WHACK-A-MOLE!

yes. we're there.  

f* you, cancer. leave my friends alone!  






 

WHY COLON CANCER DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD RIBBON

there's an official blue ribbon, does someone want to wear a brown ribbon?

WHAT NO BROWN RIBBON?

 yes. yes.  and ours?

 Dude, where's my cause?

FKKNG NY TIMES!

THE MUSIC LADY!

relief on the medical floor:

music releases anxiety, reduces pain, helps deep breathing.

music is healing

 Laura Sperling, CMP plays alto flute for patients at Georgetown University Hospital.  thank you!

STUPID SURGERY FOR MY STUPID HERNIA

 scared stupid?

a little anxious

MARCH MADNESS

sweet!

don't blow it!

WALKABOUT

 if i can't be nice,

i should go outside for a walk.

INTRUDERS

I'M SIGOURNEY WEAVER IN "ALIENS!"

GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH! (LINK TO RIPLEY v ALIEN QUEEN)

SOMETIMES I'M JUST AFRAID

 

KEEP YOUR SUNNY SIDE UP!

EVERYBODY HERE HAS CANCER

I was freaked out the first time I went to the cancer center.
 And a guy in line was getting upset.

 

I'm not the only one.

WHO ARE THOSE GUYS?

YOU GET TO MEET LOTS OF PEOPLE AT A TEACHING HOSPITAL:

THE SURGEON, A RESIDENT, AN RN, THE NURSE PRACTITIONER, A TALL GUY, TWO GUYS IN THE DOORWAY, AND A MEDICAL STUDENT.

STUPID CANCER!

LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!

BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE

THANK YOU KIM JONG IL

FOR GIVING ME SOMETHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT!

funny:  Kim Jong Il looking at things
update: yay!  i reached another goal!  i outlived kim jong il.

F CANCER

MY HAT SAYS "FUCK CANCER"

UNLIKE DC,  WHERE PEOPLE ARE RESERVED, NEW YORKERS SPEAK UP:

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?  AT THE END OF THE DAY

I'M STILL HERE! DOING MY THING, ONE F-BOMB AT A TIME.
CLICK HERE FOR LINK TO BUY A  F*CK CANCER HAT

RESPITE: THINK BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS

I'M FREE!

BEAUTY MAKES TIME STAND STILL

THE CANCER INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

IT'S A MONEY-MAKER

IT'S A MONEY-MAKER.

DOUBLE BLIND

Clinical trials are research studies involving people. A clinical trial is a way to test a new treatment to prove that it is safe, effective, and possibly better than a standard treatment. The clinical trial may be evaluating a new drug, a new combination of existing treatments, a new approach to radiation therapy or surgery, or a new method of cancer prevention.    About Clinical Trials www.cancer.net

A placebo-controlled clinical trial compares a new treatment with a placebo (inactive drug or treatment). Placebo-controlled clinical trials in cancer research are rare, but are used when there is no effective, standard treatment available. Read more about placebos in cancer clinical trials.

I never understood my clinical trial while I was on it.  The information was all there in my informed consent.  Even though the language was respectful and direct, I was unable to process it.

Participants in clinical trials can play a more active role in their own health care, gain access to new research treatments before they are widely available, and help others by contributing to medical research.    Understanding Clinical Trials: clinicaltrials.gov

I'm glad I participated in the trial, even if I don't understand it.

I DID IT!

I had my colonoscopy.  It was so much fun!

Honestly, the sedation was fun, the prep was not fun, the medical team at Georgetown University Hospital are the best, and: my results were great.
Talk to your primary care physician about colon cancer prevention!

here's Jon Stewart's remarks about Katie Couric's colonoscopy on live television:
THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART:  PUBLIC ENEMA

here's Dave Barry's truthful hilarious story about avoiding his colonoscopy:
DAVE BARRY: A JOURNEY INTO MY COLON, AND YOURS